A Modern Version of Catcher in the Rye written entirely in Facebook posts.
Imagine if Holden had a Facebook. Would he have been less lonely? We worked together to come up with what he might have shared with his “friends.” Enjoy!
•I’m not going to tell you my whole life story or anything.
•My parents are going to have about two hemorrhages apiece.
•Lost the goddamn foils.
•Headed to Spencer’s
•People always think something’s all true.
•Life is a game that one plays according to the rules...that’s what he says.
•At least I passed English.
•I’m the most terrific liar you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
•I wish people would just let me read my goddamn book!
•I got a people shooting hat today
•Hunting for a place to put my anger.
•Lousy bastard, it’s not about commas and stuff and all.
•The small things in life mean the most. I wonder if she still keeps her kings in the back row.
•Thinking of Allie... Wish I could have caught him.
•Got my butt kicked by the biggest phony ever.
•Sleep tight morons. It’s always easier to leave a place if you can feel some kind of goodbye.
•That guy Morrow was about sensitive as a goddamn toilet seat.
•Want to talk to someone… but don’t know who.
•Were did all the ducks go?
•Ernie is a helluva snob... When he plays, he’s almost corny.
•Prostitutes aren’t good talkers.
•Almost did it, but that green dress was so depressing it nearly killed me.
•Poor girl shoulda been named “Gloomy.”
•I should have messed him up, but I’m all talk.
•Smoking a couple hundred cigarettes.
•Ran into some nuns while I was in the cafe. Had a good time talkin’ to them, no lie.
•Meeting up with Sally around 2.
•If she says swell one more time I’ll flip.
•Me and Sally gotta be the worst goddamn skaters in the history of skaters.
•Went to a horrible show at Radio City.
•Maybe life is better in the woods.
•Some guys think they’re all that but no, they’re just all muscle and no brains.
•What the heck? Nobody wants to answer their phone!
•Gonna trimma tree.
•At the Wicker Bar with Ol’Luce and the phonies are coming through the window.
•If I’m bored I’ll talk to anyone, even a phony.
•People never give your message to anybody.
•Another day, another drink, and no ducks.
•I had a really big stroke of luck today! The elevator guy was new!
•I really should’ve been a crook.
•Home sweet home, for a few minutes.
•I’m actually feeling good today, is something wrong with me? Is this normal?
•Girls can be weird at times.
•Holding a pillow over your face doesn’t mean you can’t hear them.
•They call me Catcher.
•Phoebe baby, I’ll catch ya in the rye.
•I’m really sick of people telling me not to swear goddammit!
•All I hear in my head is, “Daddy’s going to kill you, Daddy’s going to kill you.”
•Going to Antolinis… actually never mind.
•Why is it so goddamn hard to find a cab?
•People can be so creepy sometimes!
•I see these kids falling they always will....
•There are just way too many to catch....it’s just so overwhelming!
•Sometimes your siblings understand you better than you understand yourself.
•Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
•I tend to do that a lot... Act like a madman...
•I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is I’m sort of missing everybody I told about.
•Considering reaching for the ring...
•Finally I'm giving in and falling off the cliff, thanks to Phoebe
Want to add your ideas? Enter a chapter # and what you think Holden might have posted.
